Fresh Off the Boat

Ahh...single girls in L.A. They're an interesting breed. I mean Jordan, in the five years we've been friends, I don't think she's been without a guy (being a cute girl who's also a drummer in a band goes over pretty well); but for whatever reason ( I think it's to toy with their little minds) she decided to venture into the world of, yes, online dating. Sigh. With what site you might ask, let's call it Jew-Date ;) ( I know I'm so coy with my veiled references). So I get a call from Jordan after her first date with her FOB Israeli. In the country for just a week, unemployed, and a smoker, FOB, was not exactly the ideal date. But then Jordan painted me a little picture...she lovingly referred to him as Super F'ing Ripped Israeli boy, and then explained to me that he had abs like a Grecian god. Shallow? Maybe. But would you do it too? Definitely. We're talking like, I could wash a shirt old school style like my great grandma back in the shtetl-just need a water basin and some soap-kind of abs. So about the date, she gave FOB an overall score of 6, and she broke it down like this: english speaking abilities = pretty good, conversation skills = good, level of interest= high, seeming involvement in a shady pyramid scheme = high, paid for her drink = yes....but that he was a little short. Short on what, you might ask? - height. Like short, short. In her heels, small Jordan was FOB's same height - that kiddies, is what we call a deal breaker. Till next time...